Re-Purposing Ideas for Your Leftover Toxic Credit Default Swaps

Got caught holding the hot potato, eh? Me too. And then, suddenly, nobody else wanted to play . . .

They all said, “Umm, I don’t know, man, I think I’m tired of hot potato. How about we switch to Red Light-Green Light, or Mother May I?”

As in: Mother may I have a bail-out.

So here we are, the salt-of-the-earth types, the ones not in on the in, left on the other side of the looking glass as we put our hands to the glass and peer through, trying to make out what’s going on in that magic land on the other side, our worthless sacks of toxic credit default swaps by our side.

Well fear not, favored friends, as I have been hard at work coming up with ideas to extract as much value from those sacks of garbage as I can, and today I pass these ideas along to you, my brothers and sisters, so that we may begin to rebuild our personal empires. And so without further ado, I present to you:

Liam James Leaven's Top Five Re-purposing Ideas for Your Leftover Toxic Credit Default Swaps:

1. Put them in the scrapbook next to your junk bonds.

2. Go to Mexico and see if you can trade for some Coronas.

3. Stuff a bunch into an envelope and send as payment for your next mortgage bill.

4. Call them “lidos” and sell to people as “Internet money.”

5. Make toxic credit default swap stew.